Sadly my husband feels insecure

Today I met a wonder woman. She raises four children alone. And in between she runs an online shop for second hand books.
All from her home of three by four meters.

Where is your husband?

I don't know. The last time I saw him was seven months ago.
Maybe he is in Semarang where his mother lives. Since we married she wants us to live with her. But that would be hell. Only one queen can live in her house hahaha.

No, I don’t know what kind of work he does. I lost track. Two years ago he also disappeared. Back then he said he worked in a hair salon in Jakarta.

Can’t he work in Jogja?
Yes. He could work with me. Help me grow the online book business. I have many ideas, but he doesn’t want to talk about them.
It makes him insecure.
What?
He loses his ‘gengsi’.
Gengsi?
It means something like: prestige.

For Indonesian men prestige is important.
You can't just join your wife's business. What would the neighbors think?

Every two weeks he sends us money from somewhere.

And yes, a bit of money is better than no money. Although it would make us really happy if one day he decides to spend more money on his kids than on his cigarettes.

He has twice tried to set up his own car repair shop. Both times I helped him with my savings. But unfortunately it didn't work out.

It is hard to be a man.

Maybe. Maybe not. I can't worry about that anymore. I need to keep my head sane. I have four lovely kids that depend on me.